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Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Teach Me How To Love

   For the longest I always thought I knew what it meant to love. For me love meant butterflies and mushy feelings inside. I would wake up thinking about someone, and go to sleep with that same person on my mind. I would do anything for that person, so blinded by the feeling of "love". We would constantly be with each other. We may argue a little, but afterwards we would make up and all would be well again. He would acknowledge me publicly, and take me with him everywhere. This was love, and when I saw this happening in someone else's life, I concluded, "they must be in love". This is how I identified love, and if you're reading this you probably would conclude this to be love as well --- give or take a few other characteristics.
   I could blame society. I could say that we live in a world with so many depictions of love, and that would be true. We do live in a society that depicts love in so many ways. Some of the ways responsible for our confusion now. 
I was once told by my mentor at Fellowship for Christian Athletes, "Never make someone your all, because when you lose them you have nothing." It has now come full circle, and I realize as a Christian exactly what he meant. Christ should be your everything. No one else. You can't lose Christ. He'll always be with you.
I don't want to use this blog to crush anyone or make you think you're not in love. I do however want to simply share with you how Christ determines love!

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
   I came upon this verse while reading, Crazy Love by Francis Chan, (I've mentioned this book before in a previous blog -- If you're trying to totally live for Christ I strongly suggest this book). While reading, Chan challenged the reader to replace "love" in the scriptures above with your own name. It would go a little something like this, Carmen is patient and kind; Carmen does not envy or boast; -- and so forth. The challenge was very eye-opening, so much so that I had to blog about it. TRY IT! Replace your own name with "love". I'll give you a few minutes. --- So now that you have used your own name, how about we try the name of the person you call your boo? Go for it!
   What's your conclusion? Are they showing you what it means to love according to Christ, or are you both just pretending to be in love? Be honest with yourself. This is how Christ determines love. I mean, after all, He is our greatest example of love! 

Yes, God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him would not be lost but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world. He did not send him to judge the world guilty, but to save the world through him.                         John 3:16-17 
   So let's go back to the drawing board. If your certain someone doesn't love you the way Christ details we should love then we have some things to workout. 1)Pray that God reveals what love is so that you yourself can show it, and know when it's being shown back to you, 2) Study Paul's teaching on love. 3) Your friend may need Christ (I apologize for being so blunt, but I'm so serious).  We have to be careful with this whole relationship thing. We don't want to be with anyone who can not love us as Christ loved us, and we shouldn't want to be with anyone who is leading us away from the things of God. Proverbs tells us to "guard our heart, for everything you do flows from it." Is your heart guarded? 
    It is so easy to get consumed in the idea of being in love. You just want someone. You want the affection. You want the feeling. You want to belong to someone. Well my sister, you do belong to someone, and He really loves you. As single ladies let's pray that we learn to love like Christ, and that we seek His love, and not the love of man. Man will fail you, Christ's love is true, and enough. Once we learn to love like Christ and seek Christ then and only then can you truly experience a love with a friend in training to become your husband. Yes, I did say husband, "ain't nobody got time" for dating without the purpose of marriage being the end goal!!! That's another blog for another day. Love you ladies!

Peace, Love, and Christ,

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  1. Thank you so much for sharing this. I bought Crazy Love immediately after reading this and it's already changing the way I view love within the first chapter! God bless you.

    1. Awesome! Thanks for sharing! :)
      You'll enjoy the book!

  2. Wonderful blog Carmen! Our "love gauge" should always be God's Definition, for He is Love. Thank you so much for sharing the Truth in a real & fresh way!!!
    ~ Ms. Anika

    1. Thanks for reading and thanks for your comment!
      I appreciate it.
      Love you!