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Wednesday, June 19, 2013

When Thursday Came

It's been years since I've done this, so lets see if I still go it. 

Today marks my first day back on the blogging scene. I feel like a beginner. A lot has changed since my days with Social media is forever evolving, and since I chose not to evolve with it -- I'm a deer in head lights! Configuring codes, trying to make things pop, creating new layouts, shuffle this, retype that; blogging takes effort so if you're reading this thank you for appreciating my efforts. Rambling stops now.

So, yes, much has changed, not only in social media but in Carmen as well. These past few years have been packed with learning opportunity after learning opportunity. I'm so tired of learning. Failed friendships, failed life plans, failed relationships, failed job opportunities. One big failure after another. So what was the common factor in all of the failures? Carmen! Carmen trying to work solo-dolo to figure out a life that did not belong to her. 1 Corinthians 6:20, tells us we were bought with a price. Last summer, a few months after graduation, it finally clicked that I couldn't do it alone. I had to stop relying on self and rely on the Lord. It would be almost a year later before I put my 'aha moment' into practice. I had a few more test to fail and had to be broken down a little more until there was no more life for Carmen to manage. The breaking only came last Thursday. Yep, today almost makes a week. After another failed attempt at fixing my life -- I decide to give it back to the person who paid for it all. I figured no more Carmen trying to play "Ilyana" and "Fix My Life". My efforts weren't working, and only left me discouraged and doubtful. The new plan: Whole Heartily Live for Christ and Watch Him Fix my Life. Now, don't get me wrong I was raised in Christian home, my mother is a minister, I loved Jesus, and made every effort to go to church on Sunday (just to post #churchflow and make sure all y'all knew what was up). Yet my life didn't match what it meant to have a relationship with Christ. Living for the world, dabbling in this and that, partying but trying not to party too hard so I wouldn't feel bad about it, asking for forgiveness and still practicing the same sin. Romans 12:2 boldly states, "Don't change yourselves to be like the people of this world, but let God change you inside with a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to understand and accept what God wants for you. You will be able to know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect." I had no clue I was playing rush and roulette with my very own life. Well I had no clue until Thursday.

It was time out for pretending, and time to get real. How could I minister to others about the goodness of Christ, the beauties of living for Jesus, if my life was a mess? I couldn't fix my raggedy life so I gave it away. So that I could be an example for Christ.

So here's to you! Decide today that you want today to be your Thursday! Today, you want to start over -- new slate -- new chance to be renewed. Jesus can make the biggest difference in your life.  Initially it won't be easy, it hasn't been easy for me, but the best thing is knowing that He's with me every step of the way. He's cheering me on, running with me, and there are times when I just can't do it and he picks me up and carries me onward to the finish line. 

You can do it, and I'm going to pray that you decide today to live for Him

xoxo, Carmen